I hate shopping. Truly. In person or online. (The one exception is for books, which is why I have dozens of unread books in the house.)

It’s not an aversion to spending money. It’s just that shopping is boring.

Which explains my history with lawnmowers.

* * *

I no longer recall how I got my first lawnmower. It was manual — very old, completely unpowered. Muscle power only.

It was used, of course, and by then the blades were completely dull. Instead of cutting, it pretty much just smooshed-down the dandelions. I never got the blades sharpened.

Then, one day, my sister was moving cross-country and she gave me her lawnmower. It was old, too, though not as old — and it was electric. Blades were less dull — they did manage to cut some of the dandelions, after a pass or two or three.

I used it for about 15 years. One of the wheels kept coming off mid-mow. Eventually I lost that wheel and just used it as a three-wheeled thing.

The thing in the back, where the mulched grass comes out, broke apart eventually. The protector thing. So what it did was just spit grass — and small rocks and twigs — at high velocity directly at my face. I started wearing safety glasses that I had inherited.

Even with the glasses, mowing the lawn became an experience in pain tolerance as pebbles hit me in the cheeks and forehead. And of course the glasses usually fogged up, so I couldn’t really see what I was doing.

I did that for a few years. Because I really, really, really hate shopping. I would rather use this thoroughly dilapidated and dangerous thing than shop. Shopping is boring.

* * *

This is how I got to the age of 50 without having actually bought a lawnmower in my entire life.

Until my recent birthday, that is. I managed to make myself do a little research online, and Sheila did too, and she bought me a new cordless lawnmower as a birthday present.

And now, this day, right now, I’m charging the batteries, and after work I’m going to go outside and mow my lawn.

Without safety glasses! With sharp blades! Without having to manage a cord!

I’m so into this!

But have I learned my lesson — that, sometimes, shopping is a good idea, and shouldn’t be put off so long?

Probably not, no.